South Park Drabbles
by miserableatworst
Summary: 100 South Park Drabbles consisting of fluff, angst, and everything in between. Pairings: Keneric, Style, Dip, Creek. There will be lemons. Don't like don't read. Lots of thanks to my lovely 'wife', Sarah, for all of her help with these drabbles. Lord knows that girl has more patience than I do.
1. Chapter 1: City

Chapter One: City (Keneric)

"Hey, poor kid!" Kenny couldn't help but smile at the normally offensive statement. After all, his boyfriend would never hurt him in any way, be it physical or emotional.

"Yeah, Eric?" he turned to look at the slightly chubby teen behind him. He was trying to lose weight, but Kenny understood how hard it was for him.

"When's the last time you went to Denver?"

Kenny sighed a little. Truthfully, it had been quite some time, but he knew what would happen if he was honest. "I dunno… while ago?"

"Liar. We're going this weekend"

Kenny had to smile again.


	2. Chapter 2: Supervising

Chapter Two: Supervising (Creek)

Tweek sat at a computer, on a website that specialized in coffee sales. For some reason he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched.

"Gah! C-Craig…?" he whimpered.

"Sh… it's fine babe." Craig kissed his fiancé's shoulder.

"What are-Jesus!- you doing?"

"Just supervising…. It's fine" he couldn't trust the blonde not to blow their entire wedding budget on coffee.

'Too much pressure!" Tweek argued, reaching over to shakily grab his mug

Craig gently pushed his hand back down, although weaning him off the bitter drink was futile. "Shh.. No pressure. Just buy something"

"Too much pressure!" he repeated.


	3. Chapter 3: Robot

May I just really quickly thank my lovely beta for helping me devise a way around the horrid writers block this prompt managed to give me. Love you, Sarah.

Chapter 3: Robot (Dip)

Pip knew that Damien wasn't one for Halloween, which was actually more than a bit ironic. What kind of son of Satan didn't like a day when everything was dark and scary? Maybe it was the fact that everything was fake and-DING DONG!

Pip squeaked a little but quickly recovered as he opened the door and held out a bowl of candy to quite possibly the cutest little robot ever.

"Thank you, sir" he mumbled politely with a slight lisp in his voice.

Pip couldn't help but sprint inside. "I want a baby" he informed a horrified Damien.

Oh, god.


	4. Chapter 4: Mine

Character death ahead... But the particular character is a bitch so it's no big deal.  
Still, you've been warned

Chapter 4: Mine (Stendy, one sided Style)

Kyle stood in a pool of blood, staring at the pale raven haired girl that Stan had ditched him for one time too many. He smirked as he heard the door to the apartment open and the person on his mind walked in.

He heard a scream from behind him and turned around. "I killed her Stan. Now you don't have any reason left to ignore me."

The look on the other mans face was one of pure terror. "Kyle… why…. I didn't mean to…." instinct was telling him to run, but he couldn't

"I love you, Stan. You're mine"


	5. Chapter 5: Transator

Chapter 5: Translator (Style)

Stan watched in amusement as his soon-to-be husband messed with his cell phone. For someone so smart, he was easily confused.

"Babe…. What are you doing?" he asked, trying not to laugh.

The redhead in question groaned exasperatedly, as if the ordeal was causing him extreme pain. "Downloading a translator"

"Why…?"

"Because, Stan, we're going to get married. Married people have honeymoons, and I refuse to go anywhere close enough to fucking Colorado that we actually have the luxury of speaking English," he said in a tone that suggested this should be obvious.

Stan couldn't hold back his laughter anymore.


	6. Chapter 6: Quest

Chapter 6: Quest (Dip)

"Damien?" Pip asked softly, looking at his first and only friend. "What are we supposed to do?"

The antichrist sighed and shrugged a little. "I don't know…. What do other kids usually do with their…" he paused, hesitant to let the word slip off his tongue, "friends?"

"Well.. They usually pretend things." he shrugged, not thinking much of it.

Damien seemed a little annoyed by this. "what _things?" _

"_Like… firemen or the FBI…" he grinned after a while of thinking. "Let's go on a quest!"_

"_No… god no," Damien looked about ready to kill himself if only he could die._


	7. Chapter 7: Neat

Chapter 7: Neat

"Tweek?"

The blonde looked up from a coffee mug "Yeah?"

"You don't really have ADHD, do you?" the taller boy asked.

"Well….. I'm not sure" he shrugged. "My parents-NGH- told me I do…. But I don't think a doctor-Jesus!- has."

There was brief silence as Craig continued to put pens into neat little rows.

"AH!… Craig?" Tweek asked, watching his friend with amusement.

"Hmph?" he asked, not looking up.

Tweek paused to sip his coffee "Why are you-Jesus!-doing that?"

"Do you want help with math?" he raised an eyebrow.

"My parents will sell me to slavery if I fail!"

"Exactly"


	8. Chapter 8: Hopeful

Chapter 8: Hopeful (Keneric)

Kenny wasn't usually a very hopeful person, but this time was different. After all, who else was dumb enough to fall in love with that fatass?

Although… maybe Kenny wasn't really that dumb. Eric was the only one in their group of friends who really paid much attention to him, except for when he died, of course.

But even then all he got from his so called friends was some stupid catchphrase.

No, Kenny was dumb. Had he forgotten all the times that Eric had called him a poor piece of shit?

Well… you can't control who you fall for.


	9. Chapter 9: Lasting

Chapter 9: Lasting (Dip)

The second that Damien walked into the living room Pip thought it fitting to throw his copy of _Great Expectations off to one side and bombard his husband with whatever was bothering him._

"_We can't have a lasting relationship," he whined, obviously troubled. _

"_Pip… what are you talking about? We're seventy." Pip had always been a pain, but he loved him anyways._

_Pip played with his thumbs. "I'm going to heaven"_

"_well, naturally You're an angel" he smiled, a rare occurrence._

" _you're going to hell"_

"_oh, Pip" he hugged him. "don't worry. Wherever you wind up, I'll be there" _


	10. Chapter 10: Proof

Chapter 10: Proof (Dip)

Pip had always been affectionate. From the time that he was born, he just wanted hugs and kisses.

Unfortunately, Damien was at the opposite end of the spectrum. He knew that love could sneak up and hurt you, so he was cautious.

So the first time Damien told Pip that he loved him, the blonde wanted proof.

"How do I know I'm not just a fuckbuddy," he smirked a little, which just turned on his raven haired counterpart.

He sighed. "Oh, Pip…If you were just a toy I would've found someone more attractive."

Pip left for a month after that.


	11. Chapter 11: Ideology

Chapter 11: Ideology (Style)

Stan was sitting on the couch with Kyle's head in his lap. The redhead in question was stretched out, causing himself to look a lot thinner than he actually was.

"I love our relationship," Kyle mumbled, yawning softly. "It's like… the epitome of ideology"

The black haired teen sighed and ran a hand through the frizzy red hair that was sprawled over his lap. "Babe, you have a dumb boyfriend, remember? I didn't know what half of those words meant."

Kyle chuckled a little. "Yeah… I know"

"So then what does it mean, smarty pants?"

"It means you're perfect, Stan"


	12. Chapter 12: Foundation

Chapter 12: Foundation (Dip)

Briana Thorne was looking at the mirror in her bathroom, applying a thin, beige liquid to her face and neck when her father walked in.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, although he really always sounded like that when he spoke.

She sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Putting on foundation. I'm fourteen, dad"

"Oh, no. You're pretty enough. No daughter of mine is wearing makeup. That shit is expensive-"

The rant fell on deaf ears as she put the tube away and wiped off her face.

"Happy now?" she snapped. She could always apply it at school.


	13. Chapter 13: Plain

Chapter 13: Plain (Keneric)

Cartman and Kenny didn't think buying a couch would be more of a hassle than finding an apartment, but it was.

"That's too plain," Kenny whined in protest at the sight of a light grey love seat.

In turn this prompted his boyfriend to roll his eyes and shove him gently. Some things never changed, but this was more playful than abusive. "You've got high standards for someone who grew up eating waffles for dinner."

The petite blonde smirked a little and turned to kiss the larger man's cheek. "If I had high standards I wouldn't have settled for you"


	14. Chapter 14: Event

Chapter 14: Event (Creek)

"But Craig, why do I have to wear this? It's way too much pressure!" Tweek whined.

Craig had spent the last forty five minutes trying to get the blonde in question to put on a stupid tie.

"Because babe," he sighed, scrubbing the side of his face, "prom is a formal event."

A bit of panic danced across the coffee addicts wide eyes. "People have sex at prom! That's too much pressure!"

Resisting the urge to flip him off, Craig quickly formulated a foolproof plan. "I'll buy you coffee if you just get the tie on so we can go."


	15. Chapter 15: Bite

Chapter 15: Bite (Keneric)

Kenny sighed dramatically as he walked into the kitchen, yet again his boyfriend was singing off key

"Must you do that?" he whined, although not bothered

The chubby brunette turned and smiled at him, "you know you love it"

"Yeah I do, but if you keep doing it I'm going to bite you" Kenny warned.

Eric smirked a little. "Do it" he challenged.

Kenny was immediately on his knees pulling down Eric's fly.

Soon the kitchen was filled with the sound of moaning and Kenny felt his hair being tugged.

It was perfect in the filthiest yet most innocent way.


	16. Chapter 16: Patent

Chapter 16: Patent (Style)

"Hey, Ky?" Stan asked, abandoning his reading material to look at his friend across the room.

Kyle sighed a little, refusing to look up. In fact, if he did look up every time Stan had a question he wouldn't have any time for his own homework. "What now?"

Ignoring the redhead's somewhat hostile nature, Stan located the word that he had wanted to ask about. "What's a patent?" He said, a bit softly as if that would make him seem any less stupid.

"It's like a trademark." Kyle explained, annoyed.

"Oh…." Stan paused for a short time. "What's a trademark?"


	17. Chapter 17: Knowing

Chapter 17: Knowing (Keneric)

Even in the best of relationships, there's no way of always knowing what to do.

This was of course true when Stuart McCormick got drunk and killed his daughter. What was Cartman supposed to say to make Kenny feel better?

He honestly didn't think that there was anything to say. After all, the kid had spent the majority of his life trying to protect her from everything, but some things just weren't possible.

So Eric did what any good boyfriend would do. Although he wasn't great with physical affection he hugged Kenny every day.

Because what else are boyfriends for?


	18. Chapter 18: Questioning

Chapter 18: Questioning (Creek)

Craig looked down at the shaky blonde underneath him, not at all surprised to see him violently shaking his head, wide-eyed. He immediately pulled out and sighed. This had been… what? The eighth time?

"S-sorry Craig" the petite blonde squeaked as he was gathered into his boyfriend's arms.

After making small "shh" noises and assuring Tweek that he wasn't mad and they could wait until he was one hundred percent ready, Craig started questioning the situation himself.

Why did they keep trying when it was obvious that the coffee addict just wasn't ready?

He sighed, pulling Tweek closer to him.


	19. Chapter 19: Exclusion

Chapter 19: Exclusion (Creek)

Tweek didn't usually get angry, but right now he was nearly fuming. As he downed his second cup of coffee in the last twenty-five minutes, his rage seemed to grow even more.

Right on his computer screen was a picture of his so-called friends hanging out. Of course, he wasn't in the picture because they never invited him anywhere anymore. Not that he really blamed them.

Still, people do things that they don't mean to when they're mad.

"I'm sick of this exclusion!" he commented.

Then he realized that Craig had commented before him, showing remorse.

He immediately felt horrible.


	20. Chapter 20: Pavement and AN

A/N: I would like to address two rather important things before I go onto the chapter:

-I feel as though I'm not getting a lot of reviews. Please keep in mind that if you like a multi-chapter story reviews do in fact give the author reason to keep writing. I would like feedback of some type, as it's completely free and takes only a minute or two of your time. I don't mean to sound whiny, but this fic will likely be discontinued if things keep going like they are, because I don't know if you guys like it, hate it, or somewhere in between. I also have ideas for new fics, but I feel like if you don't like this story, no one will read my other stories.

-I have never listened to the band "Pavement" before, although they do seem like my type of music. therefore, I cannot say that I agree with Pip's opinion, nor can I agree with Damien. I'll just let them talk it over in the couple's therapy that they would almost definitely need if they were real people in a real relationship.

On that note, you may proceed. If you're still reading my ramblings then good for you.

Chapter 20: Pavement (Dip)

Pip sighed, quite obviously fed up with Damien's taste in music. Not that he had ever been able to stand it in the first place.

"Damien! Will you please turn off that noise?" He yelled, not because he was mad-well, actually he kind of was; this was the fifth time that he had asked, after all- but because he wanted to be heard over the so called 'music'.

The antichrist appeared in the room in almost an instant, looking thoroughly offended. "It's Pavement," he informed the smaller teen.

Pip looked about ready to throw up. "Is that seriously a band?"


	21. Chapter 21: Dealing

I would like to apologize for being out of comission lately; I'm going back to school soon, I've recently adopted a bird and rat (he's a blonde like me :D), and I'm trying to lose a few pounds.

Chapter 21: Dealing (Keneric)

Eric was walking down the hall when he saw a sleazy guy walking away from Kenny's locker.

The small blonde jumped a little and shoved a bag of white powder in the locker upon hearing his name yelled. He turned to look at the other teen, wide eyed.

"Y-yeah?" he mumbled, too ashamed to look up.

Eric looked down at him and smirked a little. "Are you dealing drugs?"

"Well… my family can't pay our bills and this is the easiest way…"

The brunette shrugged a little. "can I have some?"

"Eric!"

He leaned down to kiss Kenny. "I'm kidding"


	22. Chapter 22: Computer

chapter 22: Computer (Creek)

Craig was doing a little research for an upcoming essay, but he accidentally closed his current tab; of course he went to the history to re-open it.

However, he was surprised by a website that was under the list of pages: Pornhub.

"Tweek?" he asked softly, turning to look at the blonde sitting on his couch. He had been coming progressively more frequently.

"Ngh! Yeah C-Craig?" His eyes were wide, but not just because there was too much caffeine in his system.

'Did you use my computer to watch porn?"

"Uhm.. N-no?" He smiled innocently, trying to hide his blush.


	23. Chapter 23: Disclaimer

Chapter 23: Disclaimer (Dip)

Pip and Damien were sitting on the couch in Damien's apartment. They had recently decided to bring their relationship to the next level. Well, Damien had begged and Pip had given in.

None the less, they were talking like responsible teenagers. Well, Damien was talking. Pip was listening.

"So… I need to use lube, but I'm not using a condom because I don't have any STI's. You're a prude so I know you don't have any either. Don't blame me if you bleed, it's not my fault."

Pip giggled softly and kissed his cheek. "That sounds like a disclaimer, Dami"


	24. Chapter 24: Liquid

Chapter 24: Liquid (Creek)

Craig was afraid of babies, thus the reason he'd only held each of his twins about three times total. But of course Tweek had to freak out about how the kids would run away because they weren't good parents. Leave it to the coffee addicted blonde to find something that could go wrong.

So today Craig had made the outstanding effort of holding his son, only to have a warm liquid run down his arm.

"Tweek?" he turned to his husband, a look of disgust on his face.

"Ngh-What?" the shorter man looked up.

"They're your kids whenever they pee."


	25. Chapter 25: Finance

Chapter 25: Finance (Style)

Kyle stared down at his baby boy; he had black hair and green eyes, just like Stan. This was now their fourth child, and having so many kids was getting to be a bit tougher than one would think.

He really did love all of his kids, but it was doing a number on their finances more than anything. If only he could get Stan to stop asking for another or somehow get their surrogate to stop agreeing.

Of course there was no way that would ever happen, thus the reason that he was stuck grocery shopping at Dollar General.


	26. Chapter 26: Stone

Chapter 26: Stone (Creek)

"Ngh- Clyde's mad at me, Craig! He's gonna stone me to death, I know it!" Tweek cried, nearing hysterics.

The taller boy let out an exasperated sigh and gently wrapped the stressed out blonde in his arms. "Do you honestly think I'd let him do that, Tweekers?"

"Well… h-he's your -gah- best friend," the caffeine addict reasoned.

"I know that, but you're my boyfriend, so you win" he chuckled a little and kissed his forehead. "What did you do anyways?"

Tweek looked around, distressed. "Jesus! I b-broke his X-box."

"How could you do something like that!?" Craig whimpered, obviously angry.


	27. Chapter 27: Publicity and important AN

Before I go onto the drabble, I would like to say that I am planning on doing a lot more stories after this, one of which being 200 double drabbles of couples II don't exactly like. So if anyone has any couple ideas please feel free to tell me.

Chapter 27: Publicity (Style)

When Stan and Kyle first started dating they got a lot of publicity.

It started with Kenny and Cartman teasing them about how they had been skirting around each other since preschool. (Which, really… they had only been skirting around each other since middle school.)

Then when Wendy found out she went on this whole big rant about how she should've known that Stan was gay. (Which, really… he was bisexual, but no one dared tell her.)

Anyone who's been to high school can guess that it wasn't long before the whole school knew. (Which, really… no one was surprised.)


	28. Chapter 28: Cave

Chapter 28: Cave (Keneric)

Kenny and Cartman were sitting on the former's bed, discussing the mechanics of sex. This seemingly mature behavior might surprise someone who couldn't hear the actual conversation in depth.

"So… if we have sex, is it going to be like throwing a hot dog through a cave?" Eric asked, no sign of joking in his tone.

Of course this pissed off the blonde teen, who was by now more than fed up with the assumption that he was a whore.

Kenny punched the larger boy, more of a buddy punch than anything. "Fuck you."

"That's why we're here." He smirked.


	29. Chapter 29: Gender

Chapter 29: Gender (Dip)

Damien was currently sitting in the waiting room at a gynecologists office while Pip was sitting in on their surrogate's ultrasound.

Pip, as always, had been overly excited to see his little rapidly growing, alien looking baby, while Damien had been dreading this visit because they would be finding out the baby's gender today.

If their two year old daughter wasn't such a handful, maybe Damien would've wanted another daughter, but he was shooting for a son this time.

He only waited a few more minutes before Pip came out, beaming. "It's another girl!"

Yep, that was about his luck.


	30. Chapter 30: Crying

Chapter 30: Crying (Creek)

The first time that Tweek tried (and failed) to stop drinking coffee, he spent a lot of his time crying. He would go through withdraw period often.

Call him evil, but Craig liked those times; of course not because he liked watching Tweek cry, but because he liked comforting him.

Obviously, they had a pretty brotherly relationship, but Craig still liked cuddling him. It wasn't gay if he was your friend, right?

Craig just liked the feeling of protecting and hugging him; he loved the feeling of Tweek's tiny body shivering softly against his own.

Fuck, maybe this wasn't platonic.


	31. Chapter 31: Native and AN

**A/N:** I would like to start by saying that I have moved and started school recently. I am still unpacking my room, taking care of two pets, and now I am also learning about various subjects that will not help me at all later in life. Middle school helps you learn to deal with other people, mainly stoners and assholes; the education does NOTHING for you. Thus the reason I have not been updating. Also, I am in the process of two stories and a role-play that you may pm me if you would like to know more about.

Chapter 31: Native (Dip)

Damien was- and had been- staring down at his history book for the last half hour as if it had killed him mother. "I don't understand this!" he exclaimed randomly, making Pip jump.

The smaller teen just rolled his eyes and glared. "You know, it's bad enough that I have to tutor you, must you yell at me too?"

Naturally, the antichrist returned the glare. "I just need to know what the hell native means. I can go home and do my own goddamn work after that," he growled.

Pip sighed and threw a dictionary at Damien's head.

"Have fun."


	32. Chapter 32: Black

Chapter 32: Black (Style)

Kyle wasn't a fan of the color black; he never had been and most likely never would. However, he thought it looked really good on Stan.

Maybe it was because his hair was black, maybe it was because he was just utterly infatuated with Stan. Either way, every time that the black haired teen went through one of his goth phases, it was annoying as hell but it made Kyle's heart race.

That was just one of the many reasons that he couldn't help but feel a little happy whenever Wendy went on a bitch-fest and broke up with Stan.


	33. Chapter 33: Transit

I could write you all some bullshit excuse about how school made me busy, but instead I'd just like to say this: god gives ovaries to people that he hates. However, since I have nothing better to do today and my uterus isn't going on a huge rampage (mostly because I took almost a whole bottle of midol) I wrote a few drabbles.

Chapter 33: Transit (Keneric)

Kenny had never really thought that he'd be going to college. His parents had absolutely no money, and they really weren't the most supportive.

Still, he had sent out applications with the idea that he'd have to turn down any good universities that he got into. Naturally, the blonde had been shocked both when the acceptance letter to Stanford arrived and when Cartman offered to pay his tuition.

There was no catch, as Eric had promised, but then Kenny started to feel like there really was. He was mid-transit and couldn't stop thinking about the fatass.

He really loved him.


	34. Chapter 34: Getting

Chapter 34: Getting (Style)

When Stan and Kyle started dating, Eric and Kenny were naturally the first two people to find out. Of course, both boys being the people they are, they wouldn't shut up about the dirtier aspects of a relationship.

"Are you getting any yet?" Kenny would ask in the hall, giving Kyle a playful buddy punch.

Eric was a little more vulgar, asking things like "Does the Jew have a firecrotch?"

Neither of the boys would disclose that intimate of a detail, though. At least not until Eric and Kenny wore themselves out asking.

But yes, the sex was fucking awesome.


	35. Chapter 35: Keyword

I would like to use the following reasons as excuses for not posting: mom's birthday, homework, birthday party with tumblr freaks, girlfriend, dates, first breakup, second chance, cheating (on her part), second breakup, girl time, hair dying and cutting, room re-do,self harm relapse, new girlfriend.

And yes, I was legitimately cheated on... tragic.

Chapter 35: Keyword (Creek)

Tweek was staring at his husband as if he had grown three additional heads. "But….N-New- gah -York? Why would- ngh -you want to m-move there?"

Craig just sighed and kissed the shaking man's head. "It's gonna be okay, Tweekers.. I know what you're thinking, but 9/11 was years ago, there's almost no chance of it happening again."

The blonde was severely unconvinced; he just kept shaking and whimpering softly. "Keyword, a-almost"

"Tweek, do you really want to stay in Nowheresville, Colorado forever?"

He nodded softly. "S'safe" he mumbled.

"There're coffee shops all over New York," he coaxed.

"Fine," he sighed.


	36. Chapter 36: Breakup

So... my computer has been broken but i can now write drabbles from my brother desktop or my iphone. however, this one is special. this one is probably more of me than you will ever see in my writing, except for a few drabbles in the future. My ex broke up with me on Thursday due to my bipolar disorder... and well, this ensued. its a little longer than usual, but enjoy none the less. Sorry about the terrible sentence structure...

Chapter 36: Breakup

Breakups are always hard.

Whether you break up with the person or the person breaks up with you, part of you just isn't the same.

Kenny was definitely feeling the effects of his recent breakup.

First he would get random memories of that stupid fatass every time he walked into a room: the time they went to the movies but were too shy to hold each other's hands, how after their first fight Eric promised to come out to his mom if Kenny came out to his (extremely homophobic, mind you) father, the time that Cartman showed up completely unannounced to give him his Christmas present, and the time they had their first kiss and it was sweet and awkward. Even though Kenny ha gotten some pretty amazing kisses before, kissing Eric made his heart he would get cold, and he would remember all the times Eric had hugged him to make him warm.

After the official breakup, the tears flowed heaviy and he had the urge to grab a candy bar and chow down like some bitch on her period. The next morning Butters brought him van candy bar and he gently thanked him before going to health class. Kyle and Stan and a million other people hugged him, and a ton of girls asked him out as if he was some kind of catch. His mom left him alone although she silently offered him cheap, sub-par cookies, and his dad awkwardly asked if he needed anything. Kevin would ignore him for the most part save for occasionally asking if he wanted to play a video game, claiming that shooting things would make him feel better, and Karen still clung to him like always, which made him smile albeit never for long.

He just wanted to feel like he was worth something again.


	37. Chapter 37: Pragmatist

Chapter 37: Pragmatist (Creek)

Craig sighed as he watched his husband freak out, unable to do anything about it. He had rid himself of his caffeine addiction, but did, in fact, have anxiety disorder.

The problem wasn't that he had a disorder; Craig had promised to stand by the blonde in both sickness and health. What had caused this was an absence of medication and a closed drugstore.

Tweek was shaking a bit as he was gently pulled into the larger mans arms. "Shhh... it's okay honey," Craig whispered. "Look at it from a pragmatistic point of view. Nothing bad is going to happen while I'm here."


End file.
